How to find a Cheater

Sarah Hayes, Staff Writer

Social media has been going crazy recently with news of a small-town Texas sheriff, Jason Collier, who had several affairs with multiple women. The scandal started when the former chief sent a mistress a false marriage annulment document, to which the victim changed her profile picture to a selfie with Collier and everything went downhill. Many women came forward and said that they were in a relationship with him.

The biggest twist? None of the women in a relationship with Collier knew about the others.

This raises concern for many current relationships, because if Collier could hide his affairs, how easy would it be for your own significant other to hide an affair? Here are some ways to tell.

  • Secretive with phones or computers

Unless your lover has been provided with a device that has confidential information for their work that they can’t share with you, there shouldn’t be too many reasons that your significant other would hide their electronics from you. If they are making it impossible for you to have access to their common devices, there’s a chance that what they could be hiding isn’t too good.

  • Unreachable moments

Yeah, there are reasons to not respond right away, like taking a shower or going to work. People have lives, they’re not going to always be on their phones 24/7, they’re not going to respond right away. But, if your significant other is on a 3-day business trip where they don’t contact you for the duration of the trip, or they work super late and don’t let you know why there’s probably an underlying reason.

  • Hostility

Cheaters rationalize their behavior with themselves, meaning that they think that what they’re doing is okay. If your significant other is constantly saying things along the lines of “You aren’t as (insert nice thing here) as you used to be,” not only is a huge red flag in general, you are better than those words, but it also means that your s/o is bringing you down to a point where you may feel uncomfortable leaving them. 

  • Changes in how their friends treat you

A majority of the time, it’s always going to be the betrayed partner that finds out last. Chances are if your significant other is cheating some of their friends may know right away. Not only that, the betrayed partner’s friends may know of infidelity before they do. Because of this, friends can become suddenly avoidant or overly nice as to try not to raise suspicion.

  • Unexplained expenses

Unless your anniversary or a holiday is coming up, or your partner has gift-giving as a love language, if your partner has random expenses to their credit card there’s a chance something fishy is going on. If your significant other is buying stuff for another person, those charges add up pretty quickly.

  • Altered Schedule

If your partner suddenly needs to go out more frequently or stay late more frequently, there could be the chance that they’re lying. Unless it’s normal for their job to do that, there’s a chance they’re taking that time to stay with their lover while trying to stay on the down-low.


These reasons don’t all mean that your significant other is cheating, but they are signs that something could be happening. They are good things to look out for and if you see these signs then it would be a good idea to talk to your partner about them. Your partner could also not be showing any of these signs and still be cheating. Either way, keep communicating with your partner and looking out for any red flags. 

Looking out for these issues can keep you from becoming like the Texas ex-sheriff and his mistresses, and allow you to have a happy relationship with your significant other.